Danika House

(Music starts with a simple, cute, lo-fi beat... then a record scratch) (Sound of a heavy metal guitar riff and fast drums kicks in) (Verse 1) Knocked on the door at a quarter to eight Danika yelled "Come in, don't mind the mess or the weight!" I stepped inside and tripped on a roller skate And then her cat just screamed at me, I think it expressed my fate The walls are covered in posters, taped up kinda wrong There's a lava lamp that's bubbling, singing a weird song She said "Sit anywhere, the couch is kinda free" But the couch is just a pile of laundry, as far as I can see! (Chorus) Welcome to the Danika House! (DANIKA HOUSE!) Where the kettle's always whistling and the floorboards squeak and shout! Don't you dare use the bathroom, there's a mystery to solve! And if you touch the weird stain on the rug, you will see it evolve! Welcome to the Danika House! (DANIKA HOUSE!) Where the microwave is beeping for no reason, late at night! Danika's in the kitchen, she just saw a tiny mouse! And that's why I'm screaming in the... DANIKA HOUSE! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Screamed with pure comedic terror) (Verse 2) She offers me a snack, says "It's a special blend!" It's just some dusty crackers that she found, like, way back when And something that she calls a "spicy bean dip" But it's winking at me, so I'm not gonna take a sip! Her phone starts ringing, it's her mom for the fifth time Danika just ignores it, says "She does this all the time!" She asks me if I'm thirsty, I nervously say "Please" She hands me a strange mug that just says "I Survived the Cheese" (Chorus) Welcome to the Danika House! (DANIKA HOUSE!) Where the kettle's always whistling and the floorboards squeak and shout! Don't you dare use the bathroom, there's a mystery to solve! And if you touch the weird stain on the rug, you will see it evolve! Welcome to the Danika House! (DANIKA HOUSE!) Where the microwave is beeping for no reason, late at night! Danika's in the kitchen, she just saw a tiny mouse! And that's why I'm screaming in the... DANIKA HOUSE! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Another scream, even more unhinged) (Bridge) The lights just flickered, the TV turned on by itself Playing a VHS of someone's boring trip to Delaware for their health Danika just shrugs and says "Oh, that's just Gerald, he's a ghost" "He's pretty chill, but he can't make very good toast." HE JUST FLOATED THROUGH THE WALL! AND HE'S HOLDING A SPOON! Danika says "Oh yeah, he does that every afternoon." BUT THE SPOON IS ON FIRE, DANIKA! THAT'S NOT NORMAL, RIGHT? She just laughs and turns the music up with all her might! (Guitar Solo - sounds frantic and a little bit silly) (Chorus) Welcome to the Danika House! (DANIKA HOUSE!) Where the kettle's always whistling and the floorboards squeak and shout! Don't you dare use the bathroom, there's a mystery to solve! And if you touch the weird stain on the rug, you will see it evolve! Welcome to the Danika House! (DANIKA HOUSE!) Where the microwave is beeping for no reason, late at night! Danika's in the kitchen, she just saw a tiny mouse! And that's why I'm screaming in the... DANIKA HOUSE! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! (A final, long, exhausted scream) (Outro) (Music cuts out abruptly) ... ... ... (Sound of a mouse squeaking) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (A very distant, tiny scream)