Past_and_Future

[Intro] (Instrumental Solo) [Verse 1] Past is the ghost that breathes depression’s cold breath Future’s the clock that winds anxiety’s death They tag-team my chest, pass a rusted knife back and forth Past hisses “you’re broken,” future sneers “you’ll be worse” I dug up the root where the rot first took hold Parents split like a seam, love turned to something to hold [Verse 2] I made caution my religion, wore it like a bulletproof coat Carved a mask of suspicion, learned to dissect what I love most Picked apart every word, every glance, every beat Built a courtroom in my chest instead of a place to retreat Called it “protecting the bond,” called it “keeping us safe” But I wasn’t building love—I was building a judge to arraign [Chorus] I bought certainty with a price tag of control Forged armor from fear, now it’s slicing my soul Past screamed “don’t get trapped,” future yelled “don’t get left” I called it self-respect, but it was just a cage for my breath I chased the perfect outcome till the road turned to dust Lost the love I was saving while I counted the cost [Verse 3] Now there’s anger—raw, unfiltered, no room for debate Floods my chest till the logic inside starts to fray I don’t mind a fight, but the second my voice climbs too high I’m the villain in the story, the one who can’t keep his cool, right? I still hear the echo: “You will not speak to me that way” It cut deeper than the words, it carved doubt in my name [Verse 4] My volume wasn’t power, it was panic’s last stand When certainty shut me out, I started to question my own hand Frustration boiled over into something unpolished, unkind And they held it up as proof I’m the problem, not the pain I can’t find Calm voices with sharp knives cut quieter, cut cleaner Society sees my roar and labels me the meaner [Chorus] I bought certainty with a price tag of control Forged armor from fear, now it’s slicing my soul Past screamed “don’t get trapped,” future yelled “don’t get left” I called it self-respect, but it was just a cage for my breath I chased the perfect outcome till the road turned to dust Lost the love I was saving while I counted the cost [Verse 5] I don’t wake up looking for a war to ignite I wake up reaching for a hand to hold through the night But when my words hit a wall for the hundredth time Something in me cracks, and the silence turns to a cry It’s not rage—it’s the sound of a lock on the door A man yelling to be heard, begging for more [Bridge] If I feel unheard, I’ll say it before the resentment grows thick If the pattern repeats, I’ll walk away before I’m made to stick If someone wanted to meet my need, they would’ve by now I can ask for the light, but I won’t beg them to end my drought [Chorus] I bought certainty with a price tag of control Forged armor from fear, now it’s slicing my soul Past screamed “don’t get trapped,” future yelled “don’t get left” I called it self-respect, but it was just a cage for my breath I chased the perfect outcome till the road turned to dust Lost the love I was saving while I counted the cost [Outro] Do my needs feel weak, or do I just fear being seen? Am I avoiding neediness, or avoiding the weight of being seen? If I lay bare my bones, will they call it reflection? Or judge it next to the quiet, safe version of affection?