Shadow

Feeling low, rock bottom, can’t stand, collapse Back against the current, yeah, the weight pulls me back Winds of autumn whisper like they know I’m weak Old me would’ve fought it—new me finds fault  (I question every step that I take, every word that I speak.) Mirror got opinions; reflection looks worn Staring at my face like Jason Bourne Blame bouncing off the glass, but it echoes in vain Truth hiding in the corners of my chest, and in pain (It's my gut convincing my brain.) Fear, like a furnace, steady burning my core Cold sweats, tight breaths, peepholes in the door My body keeps score of every debt that I carry Invisible pressure got my pulse feeling heavy (Heartbeat, heartthrob, heart's gone weary.) Years gone by, but the scars stay fresh Time don’t heal when regrets stay pressed Beautiful disaster turned permanent stain Now my soul's armored, but it’s forged out of pain (Moods got me thinking I'm either crazy or insane.) Temper stay sizzling, skillet ready to crack Try to blur the noise, but the noise pushes back Head full of static, thoughts sharp as a blade Heavy heat rising from the choices I made (This pain is my own, not meant to be shared.) I’M A SHADOW OF MY FORMER SELF NO ONE TO BLAME JUST ME, NOBODY ELSE MY SILENCE IS STRATEGIC MY SILENCE WORKS AGAINST I DON’T FIT IN WITH THE REST SO I RISE IN THE MOMENTS I CAN GET WHEN EVEN MY SHADOW HANGS ITS HEAD Can’t sleep, mind racing, ceiling staring back down Bright nights feel hollow in this busy town Hope feels distant like a song never played Locked behind the doubt and mistakes that I’ve made (Feeling like I got benched, like I never played.) Fear roams freely like a stray in the cold While my better days sit buried and old Memories circling like vultures above Picking at the remains of the things that I loved (That once loved me back but now see me as a hack.) A pair of eyes cut clean through the walls I defend Like they see every scar, I’m scared to admit Empty gaze shattered, layers exposed Truth whispers loudly when the silence corrodes (Shadow leaning back at a crossroads.) Salad days calling from a version of me Back when every struggle still felt humble, felt free Funny how the hardships hit lighter somehow Compared to the quiet desperation of now (People want to be people, but time won't allow.) Living with apologies too heavy to speak Carrying demons that won't loosen their grip Still chasing moments where my mind's clear Still wrestling shadows that keep troubles near (Keep evoking the courage to face fear.) I’M A SHADOW OF MY FORMER SELF NO ONE TO BLAME JUST ME, NOBODY ELSE MY SILENCE IS STRATEGIC MY SILENCE WORKS AGAINST I DON’T FIT IN WITH THE REST SO I RISE IN THE MOMENTS I CAN GET WHEN EVEN MY SHADOW HANGS ITS HEAD