Never trust a fart

[Intro] (Instrumental Solo) [Verse 1] Friday night, three pints deep in foam Guinness stacking secrets you can’t own You grin and lie “I’m grand, I’m fine” But your gut’s plotting a dirty crime The boxers hum a warning tune You shift your weight and count to June Cross your heart, you think you’re safe But history’s screaming “don’t mistake” [Pre-Chorus 1] It starts as a rumble, low and slow A breath you think you can control You lift one cheek like it’s a trick That’s where the chaos plants its stick [Chorus] DON’T TRUST A FART! No matter how polite it sounds at the start! DON’T TRUST A FART! That innocent puff will tear you apart! After Guinness, burrito heat When your stomach’s playing hide and seek You can pray, cross your heart — But never, ever trust a fart. [Verse 2] Burrito bold with spicy sting A saucy traitor that stains your thing You swear it’s just a harmless breeze But that’s how shame and legends seize Silent blast in Sunday mass Echo bouncing off the glass Father pauses, choir goes still That tiny trumpet killed the thrill [Pre-Chorus 2] You think you’re safe in holy air But danger floats without a care It doesn’t growl before it bites Ruins trousers, days, and nights [Chorus] DON’T TRUST A FART! Even if it feels like a gentle start! DON’T TRUST A FART! It’s a wolf in wind, a gaslit heart! The silent one is deadly art, The boxer’s worst nightmare at heart, You can hope and play your part — But never, ever trust a fart. [Bridge] Day after the stomach war You think you’re healed, you’re sure, you’re sure But that tiny squeak? That tiny spark? That’s danger dressed up in the dark And when you’re home, alone, relaxed That’s when betrayal counterattacks You think the coast is clear to start That’s when it hits you, right in the heart [Spoken Bridge] Don’t. Trust. A. Fart. [Outro] (Instrumental Solo)