its just me

I know it`s all up in my head It`ll end soon probably What if i was dead What if they knew that i wanna be I`m so sorry i fell like omori an anomaly And honestly we`ll be there for each other Always promise me What do you say ? Guess i`m back to updating my journal every day Really wish this feeling in me would just go away From time to time i try reminding myself everything`s okey For the most mundane things i`ll just cop out Tell my closest friends "not now" Hold that in as much that i can But why can`t i fucking just calm down I`d rather dream than just live That`s just the way that it is I don`t know why i care at all My heart just don`t bleed as much as my wrist Only want to say that i was finally good for something Just in the hopes it wasn`t all for nothing Don`t know how i changed this much It feels so good, just to be a shut in But for them it doesn`t prolly cuz i love it They don`t understand how much they push my buttons They appreciate me all of a sudden All the love they pour on me just doesn`t cut it Thought i want to grow up, ready, but i wasn`t All my homies blow confetti by the dozen Every bit of hope and joy are waht we need What if it`s only me, look, i think that i can feel the rush and I don`t know if i have gotten better Lately - why`s it feel like everybody hates me All alone and i don`t ever fell the safety Cause my inner demons always try to chase me On my own, here again, that`s me Stuck in my dome, with the friend i need Not sure where to go, but i guess we`ll see Running out of hope and it ends with me Just know that means that I`m thankful for all my friends With them i`ll be a-ok Even if i have to pretend Do you feel your heart beat faster When your eyes close? All the weight of everything Gets trapped up and you might blow Do you feel that something isn`t right? Out of mind, out of sight Tell me what`s wrong what`s right Fuck it, what`s another lie ? Seal up your brain and Dissipate all your pain Who cares if you see tomorrow If it eases your mind today? I might succumb to a debt I could never pay While waiting for whit to change So that something would feel okay In my head space i remain safe Put my walls up and pray For a cure to my dead weight For my friends sake Soon i`ll be free from the chains Of my own mistakes But for mow i just lay In the bed that i made Talk it though my head Some thing that i don`t believe in Wish it all away but it doesn`t mean That i don`t see them My eyes have been clouded and blinded Man my head keeps spinning Fate has been decided Something i don`t agree with Feeling is egregious But man i guess that`s me They don`t understand the weight i feel Is the wight they`ll grieve Is it freedom from the pressure The sweet kiss of death Not sure of my intention but I guess it`s time i rest Do you feel your heart beat faster When your eyes close? All the weight of everything Gets trapped up and you might blow Do you feel that something isn`t right? Out of mind, out of sight Tell me what`s wrong what`s right Fuck it, what`s another lie ? Seal up your brain and Dissipate all your pain Who cares if you see tomorrow If it eases your mind today? I might succumb to a debt I could never pay While waiting for whit to change So that something would feel okay In my head space i remain safe Put my walls up and pray For a cure to my dead weight For my friends sake Soon i`ll be free from the chains Of my own mistakes But for mow i just lay In the bed that i made You make nothing mean something to me My pain and my grief will you please set me free They`re nothing to me