MURK - That’s Not Santa… That’s My Dad!

[Intro – spoken over jangly guitar] Mum said go to sleep… yeah right! [Verse 1] Midnight, I’m sneaking down the stairs Heard a clatter, thought “reindeer in the air!” Big red shadow by the Christmas tree But something looked dodgy to me… [Pre-Chorus] He’s got the belly, yeah that checks out White beard? Kinda… hanging off his mouth Sack full of presents, boots covered in mud But hold up… those are Mum’s red fluffy PJs [Chorus – massive sing-along] That’s not Santa, that’s my dad! In Mum’s bright red onesie and Grandma’s old wig looking bad Welly boots on, stumbling about Smells like the pub let him out That’s not Santa, that’s my dad! Tripping on tinsel, eating the mince pie, That's three he's had ! I’m gonna pretend I’m asleep real fast ’Cause that’s definitely my dad! [Verse 2] He’s whispering “ho ho ho” in a funny deep voice Stuffing stockings like he’s got no choice Left a carrot for Rudolph on the floor Then drank the sherry and asked for more [Pre-Chorus 2] Says “better not tell your mum I’m out of bed” While the wig’s sliding down to the side of his head Caught him dancing to Slade with a beer in his hand Mate… that’s not the North Pole plan! [Chorus – bigger, add kids gang vocals] That’s not Santa, that’s my dad! In Mum’s bright red onesie and Grandma’s old wig looking Bad Reindeer? Nah, that’s next-door’s cat He just hissed and ran off flat That’s not Santa, that’s my dad! Fell asleep on the sofa with the beard in his lap Best Christmas secret I’ll never tell… I love that my dad is Santa as well! [Bridge – half-time, cheeky whisper] So every year I’ll keep my mouth shut tight Let him think he’s sneaky on Christmas night But we both know the truth, me and Dad Best Santa ever… even if he’s a bit mad! [Final Chorus – key up to D♭, full family choir] That’s not Santa… wait… maybe he is! In Mum’s bright red onesie doing Santa biz Smells like beer and Christmas cheer Best dad of the year right here! That’s my Santa, that’s my dad! Merry Christmas everyone – now I’m going back to bed! [Outro – everyone laughing + sleigh bells] Shhh… don’t tell Mum!