Wash Your Ass

————— [Verse 1]
 Met a pretty little thing at a roadside stand (mmhmm)
 Sunset glow and no ring on her hand
 Hair done up, smile so sweet I soon realized that she was no treat Leaned in close for a hug so tight
 My nose didn’t win that fight (uh-uh)
 Three-day-old sardines in July heat (whoo!)
 Lord, that girl know she reeked! [Pre-Chorus]
 I ain’t mean, I ain’t rude (no sir)
 Just tellin’ honest truth
If you want somebody close to you… [Chorus]
 Wash your ass! (wash it!)
 Wash your ass! (twice now!)
 Soap and water, don’t be shy (don’t be shy!)
 Wash your ass! (yes ma’am!)
 Wash your ass! (come on now!) 
Love smells better when you try (that’s right!) [Verse 2]
 Had a grown man on the job site crew (true story) 
Steel-toe boots and a hard hat too
 Worked all day in the summer sun (mmhmm)
 Smelled like a garbage truck just done run (whoo!) Trash truck juice in the afternoon (Lord help us)
 Buzzards circlin’ round high noon
 Good man, strong, could lift a beam
 But hygiene ain’t optional, you know what I mean [Chorus]
 Wash your ass! (wash it!)
 Wash your ass! (after work!)
 Ain’t no shame in soap and steam (get clean!)
 Wash your ass! (yes sir!)
 Wash your ass! (real good!) 
Fresh beats funky every time (every time!) [Verse 3]
 Preacher down at the Sunday church (amen)
 Lay hands down, do the Lord’s work
 Folks fall out when he start to pray (fallin’ out!)
 But it wasn’t the Spirit that day (uh-oh) Breath rollin’ like a swamp in June (mercy!) 
Choir went quiet way too soon
 Deacon fanned like the world was endin’
 That ain’t revival, that’s recommittin’ (to toothpaste!) [Chorus]
 Wash your ass! (hallelujah!) 
Wash your ass! (praise be!) 
Clean body, clean spirit too (that’s scripture!)
 Wash your ass! (amen!)
 Wash your ass! (don’t play!)
 Even the good Lord appreciates you (mmhmm!) [Bridge – Tone Shifts Serious] 
Now listen close, I’m jokin’ loud
 But this right here makes a man stand proud
 Self-respect ain’t hard to see
 It’s care for yourself and your company You walk in a room, you carry your name
 Hygiene speaks before you say a thing
 It’s dignity, it’s health, it’s love
 It’s honorin’ the life you’re made of [Final Chorus – Big Energy, Back to Funny] 
So wash your ass! (wash it!)
 Wash your ass! (twice a day!) 
Morning light and before bed too (don’t forget!) 
Wash your ass! (come on now!)
 Wash your ass! (one more time!)
 The whole wide world will thank you (yes it will!) [Outro – Half Spoken]
 A little soap…
A little water… 
And a whole lotta respect (mmhmm) Now go on…
Wash your ass. (The Perfect Country Man)