Direction (17 Feb 26) V5a

Blah, blah, blah, - ok, sorry that you feel that way, yeh - ok bye….. So now I’m sitting on the floor with my back to the wall, trying to contemplate the call that just ended it all. I stare at the pictures and gaze in to space, everything looks the same but everything’s changed. I wonder what I will do, I have no energy and my heart feels heavy, I should not sit here feeling sorry for myself but then my head starts replaying events of the past, how long are these feelings going to last? It’s hard to be bubbly when you know you’re not good company, my friends try and help me out, I am so glad I have them, I hope that one day I can re-pay them. I wonder what went wrong, and wonder what you mean when you say it’s not me it’s you. I thought we wanted the same things, but clearly that’s not true, I can’t help but think what it is that someone else can give you. I pray every day for some kind of saviour, being without you seems to be getting harder, surely someone out there will reach me, I can’t spend my life feeling like a failure. I’m guess it’s good to know you were never going to be true, but how long is it going to take for me to stop talking about you, I know no-one wants to hear about my problems and I really need to find a new sense of direction. I know I will get over it, I even try and force it, being like this is just no use, I know I can’t go back and even if I could what would be different? I would just replay it the same, the same as before. I guess for now I am happy being sad, being on my own isn’t really that bad, I still pray my saviour will come and all this madness can be undone, I know my saviour will come and all this sadness will be undone. I pray my saviour will come, I pray my saviour will come, I pray my saviour will come, yeh, yeh, come.