Ya Rabb, I’m Still Here”

Yeah…this is Tai Bismillah before I breathe, Still fighting what they don’t see. [Intro – almost whispered] You see me… Even when nobody else does. Even when I don’t like what You see. [Verse 1] Ya Rabb… I’m ashamed of my own reflection, Mirror shows a man split in two directions. One side wants Jannah, light, elevation, The other side drowning in temptation. I know the ayahs. I know the truth. But knowledge don’t always control the youth. My heart says “stop” but my nafs says “go,” And every quiet sin feels louder than I show. Sometimes I delay salah for a screen, Then cry at night like “what does this mean?” How can I love You and still disobey? How can I beg but still drift away? My sajdah feels heavy with silent regret, Tears on the carpet, eyes still wet. I whisper “forgive me” more than I breathe, And wonder how You still don’t leave. [Pre-Hook – vulnerable] If You exposed me, I’d have no name. If You withdrew mercy, I’d drown in shame. But You keep covering what I hide… Ya Allah, why are You still by my side? [Hook – slow, emotional] Ya Rabb, I’m still here… still knocking at Your door, Still breaking my promises like before. But I believe Your mercy is more than my sin, So I fall… then I turn back again. Make me the man my future wife deserves, Not a man enslaved by hidden urges. Write me a love that begins with prayer, Two broken souls healed in Your care. [Verse 2 – deeper conflict] The world screams pleasure, instant desire, But my soul just wants something higher. I’m tired of the rush that leaves me empty, Five minutes of fire… then guilt in plenty. I fear the day my heart goes numb, When sin feels light and tawbah feels done. Protect me from that spiritual death, Don’t take my shame before my last breath. Ya Allah, I don’t want secret habits, Don’t want chains I can’t break or manage. I want discipline. I want restraint. I want a heart that trembles like a saint. I dream of her… somewhere she prays, Asking You for a man who stays. Not just strong in words or height, But strong when alone at night. Make me loyal before I meet her eyes. Make me honest before I promise vows. I don’t want to drag her into my storm, I want to be her sakinah, safe and warm. [Bridge – almost crying tone] I’m scared of myself when no one sees, When it’s just me and my weaknesses. But I’m more scared of losing You, Of living life like my heart ain’t true. You gave me chances I didn’t deserve, Oceans of mercy I couldn’t earn. Every sunrise feels like a sign: “I haven’t given up on you this time.” [Hook – stronger faith] Ya Rabb, I’m still here… still asking for light, Still fighting battles inside every night. Cleanse my heart, rewrite my story, Turn my struggle into Your glory. Send me love that protects my deen, A wife who helps my soul stay clean. Let our home be built on prayer, Angels descending in the air. [Outro – calm surrender] I’m not perfect. I’m not pure. But my hope in You is still secure. As long as my chest still feels regret… I know You haven’t finished with me yet. Ya Allah… Don’t just forgive me. Transform me.