Verse 1)

Verse 1) Down in County Durham, lived a lad they all call Les, His smile was… well, a work in progress, let’s just say “a mess.” He hopped a flight to Antalya with a tan and grand design, To swap those northern gnashers for a glow that’s quite divine. He checked into “Happy Smiles,” the finest in the land, With a vision of a pearly set and a cocktail in his hand. (Chorus) Oh, look at Les from Durham, he’s a beacon in the night, He went and got his Turkey teeth and made ‘em ultra-bright! They’re whiter than the Stadium of Light on matchday noon, You can see his beaming grill from the surface of the moon! (Verse 2) He walked back through the airport, a transformed, shining man, The customs guy wore sunglasses—"I’m your biggest fan!" He walked into his local, ordered up a pint of ale, And the glare off of his top row made the neon lights look pale. He’s blinding every lass in town, he’s glowing in the dark, A human lighthouse wandering through Hardwick Hall or Park. (Outro) So if you’re lost in Seaham or the fog is coming in, Just look for Les’s "Happy Smile" and follow that big chin! Yeah, he’s our Les from Durham—the man with the neon bite!