Intro (spoken, mock-epic)

Intro (spoken, mock-epic) High on a mountain Lived a man named Dave Local legend For reasons best left vague Verse 1 Dave lived alone on the mountain side a carnal man with a cheeky grin Stories travelled far and wide boundaries bent and critters broke in its animal farm and not the nice one its animal house with the britches gone outdoor drama uphill slide its shawshank mountain side They say what goes around comes back The mountain keeps score, remembers that Chorus That was the day the mountain broke back Slipped on soap, no clothes intact Cold hard ground, dignity cracked Nature lined up like “we remember that” Bear and duck had first go Karma laughing, no contract Just boots, hooves, feathers, quack Pure coincidence… definitely that That was the day the mountain broke back Out the tub, confidence high One wrong step, gravity “hi” Down he went like a fallen star Naked truth stretched way too far face down beneath the blazing sun Goat said “ill take a bite of that bun” The donkey brayed like it knew the script The chickens formed a judging committee quick Pre-Chorus 2 silence of the labs gone wrong clarice eats hannibal in a mad plot twist Chorus That was the day the mountain broke back Bare ass sprint, full panic attack Slippery slope, no welcome mat Every creature staring like “fancy that” That was the day the mountain broke back No witnesses Dave could counteract Tyrone the bear stamina strong 1 foot wide 2 feet long Bridge (spoken, deadpan) each wolf had its day in court tongues lolling everyone panting Running uphill Bad idea Running downhill Much worse Every step a memory Every scream a curse That was the day the mountain broke back dave on ground, fur on crack face to the floor in the mountain dirt redemption song where pride gets hurt That was the day the mountain broke back Dave moved towns, changed his act Bought curtains, kept his clothes intact Learned that mountains talk back Outro Some lessons arrive gently. Others chase you downhill While naked.