Commuer blues 2.0

[Verse 1] I merged onto three ninety five, or at least I tried, A car with diplomatic plates nearly crushed my ride. After driving here for many years you’d think I’d not be fazed But Google maps is telling me this is the end of days [Chorus] Oh, driving in DC, it it a contact sport Where turn signals are optional and safety screams "ABORT". I’ve seen U-turns on red lights, I drive and say a prayer If you’re looking for some sanity you will not find it here [Verse 2] A tour bus is parked sideway, and Ubers block the street Tourist drivers taking selfies every twenty feet. Circles here are mystical like you could not believe You can enter anytime you like but you can never leave [Chorus] Oh, driving in DC, every street’s a new surprise Everyone here’s driving like the rules do not apply. I’ve had to dodge more potholes than scandals I can see And parking here will surely test faith in humanity [Verse 3] An endless of big food trucks makes you feel insane A guy with much testosterone darting in and out of lane Commuting always makes me take my faith into question Each driver treats a stop sign as if it’s a quaint suggestion [Chorus] Oh, driving in DC, where you see all hope will fade Every driver blocks the box and there are endless motorcades Traffic here’s the culmination of all of my fears I will make my destination though it might take twenty years [Dance break] [Bridge] Oh, the bikers come in dozens, like a frightening rising tide, And the scooters zip around me with a death-wish on the side. Navigating through this mess seems more and more absurd Some guy with “Jesus” license plates just flipped me the bird [Final Chorus] Yes, driving in DC, where the chaos never ends, You’ll test your faith just trying not to hit pedestrians. So bless your heart if you attempt to cross the Mall at five ’Cause in this gridlocked capital, only the strong survive.