Raise your glass

Verse 1 We’ve gathered here with open hearts, With courage, grace, and polls, To show the nation we can work Toward common, noble goals. We’ll compromise! We’ll sacrifice! We’ll meet you halfway there— As long as halfway’s where you stand And we can keep your chair. Verse 2 We, too, believe in unity! In harmony! In peace! Provided that our platform Gets a modest small increase. We’ll cross the aisle with vigor! We’ll clasp opposing hands! But first we’d like complete control Of all subcommittees and lands. Pre-Chorus Let’s lower all the temperature, Let’s cool the angry mob— We’ll film a heartfelt handshake For the 6 o’clock news job. We’ll nod and say “productive,” We’ll say “historic day!” Then run to separate fundraisers Three blocks away. Chorus Reach across the aisle! Smile a bipartisan smile! Say “my good friend from the other side” And hold it for a while! We’ll tweet a selfie captioned “Democracy is strong!” Then quietly release a memo Saying they are wrong. Reach across! Reach across! Extend a careful arm— But sanitize immediately To minimize the harm! Verse 3 We dream of bridges sturdy, Of unity restored, Of civil, calm discussions In committee rooms adored. We’ll host a joint town hall event, Invite the press to see— A touching show of teamwork Sponsored by Lockheed and Tea. Bridge What if we truly listened? What if we truly tried? What if we chose the public good Instead of party pride? Final Chorus Reach across the aisle! But not beyond the base! We must appear collaborative While winning every race! We’ll draft a “Unity Task Force” And meet twice every year— To issue bold statements No one reads or hears! Reach across! Reach across! Let history record We bravely worked together On a post office award! All “Bipartisan!”