Hyvee High Speed

(Spoken over a lazy shuffle beat) Now this right here happened… ’Bout 3:25 a.m. Under fluorescent lights and poor decisions. Me and Mark Grimes, wild and free, Headed west toward that Hy-Vee, Screamin’ Lincoln, pedal pinned, Sounded like the devil garglin’ gin. After hours but we had a thirst, And dehydration is the worst. Mark said, “Brian, don’t be slow — Grab the goods and go, go, go.” We hit them doors at NASCAR speed, Automatic glass couldn’t match our need, Case in each hand, didn’t say thanks, Turned aisle seven into Talladega banks. Mark cleared out like a jailbreak plan, I tripped over a cardboard beer display stand. Security grabbed me — breath like ham — Said, “Son, explain this if you can.” I said nothin’. Not a peep. That Lincoln circled like a shark in deep. Boys in blue thought I’d froze in fright — They blinked once… I vanished from sight. Slipped their grip like bacon grease, Heard that V8 growl increase, Lincoln slid in sideways style, I cleared that curb by country mile. Launched myself like Evel Knievel, Through that window — legal? Not legal. Landed shotgun, heart full choke, Floorboard rattlin’, rollin’ smoke. Tires howlin’, asphalt cryin’, Dashboard light was half-on, dyin’, Looked down low by my left boot heel — Found a mystery sack by the gearshift steel. Said, “Mark, what’s that?” He said, “Don’t ask.” Just drive, son — foot to the gas. Only two cases, not the four — But that’s still a win from a grocery store. Back to the party, neon glow, Sweet perfume and a cocaine pour, Told that tale while smokin pot, Half said “no way,” half said “why not?” Now my name’s Brian, that much is fact, Every word true — well… mostly intact. If you don’t believe what I told tonight, Buy the next round — And we’ll argue it right