The Miracle Of Nature

(Intro: Heavy, dramatic trap beat drops. A deep, serious voice-over begins.) [Intro] (Deep Voice) They told me it was impossible. They told me it was just... gas. But I know the truth. I can feel the kick. [Verse 1] Woke up at seven, feeling kind of heavy Gut’s doing backflips, I ain't even ready Call up the doctor, said "Doc, it’s a crisis" He looked at the scan, said "This is the finest" I’m glowing, I’m flowing, I’m rubbing my tummy People staring at me, acting real funny But they don’t understand the bond that we share It’s a long-term commitment, it’s almost right there. [Chorus] They said my arse is pregnant and I’m having a baby poo I’m breathing through the contractions, I don’t know what to do It’s crowning, it’s coming, it’s a nine-pounder too Yeah, my arse is pregnant and I’m having a baby poo! [Break] The miracle of nature [Verse 2] I’ve picked out the names, yeah, it’s gonna be "Stinky" Or maybe "Sir Logs-a-Lot," keep it real swanky I’m pacing the hallway, I’m clutching the rail This delivery’s coming, and it’s destined to fail— The plumbing! The pipes! Call the plumber right now! I’m sweating, I’m screaming, I’m mooing like a cow It’s a miracle of nature, a brown-eyed surprise I can see the relief reflecting in my eyes. [Chorus] They said my arse is pregnant and I’m having a baby poo I’m breathing through the contractions, I don’t know what to do It’s crowning, it’s coming, it’s a nine-pounder too Yeah, my arse is pregnant and I’m having a baby poo! [Break] The miracle of nature [Bridge] (Slow, soulful R&B vibe) Push... push... Don’t let the ceramic break... It’s a beautiful journey... For goodness sake... (Flush sound effect) ...He’s gone to a better place. [Outro] (Beat fades into a soft piano) I’m a changed man. I feel ten pounds lighter. Check the Billboard Charts tomorrow... 'Cause this number one’s a real... stinker. (Final flush)