Just Me

I never really know what's coming out No plan just a free flowing rhyme It runs like a river, white water in words A part of me since the beginning of time I never really gave it much thought How simple it has been for me To pick up a pen and purge my mind No idea it was a method to flee When the walls broke down and lines got crossed Ears plugged with my youthful fingers Life in a bottle, top of their lungs Broke furniture and thoughts that still linger But I'd get through the night, both scared and sad At a later time I'd pick up a note book I'd write it down, morose Mother Goose Mind melt into a better outlook Humiliated in front of team mates For a decision someone didn't like Yet I made it through by writing a tale Letting my mind take a poetic hike I wish today those words were saved As I'm often reliving the past It seems now all the brightest days Are the shadows most darkest cast From time to time I get caught going back It's so hard to put it behind me I know some day I must close that door But doing so doesn't mean I'll be free Nowadays the fights are mine just me, myself, and I And I still get by, pen in hand Often alone as I sigh Tear filled eyes, sadness and gloom C O P D, anxiety, and depression I see no peace, just future sadness Fear of each demon's progression I yell at me as me talks to I I and me often don't get along "I just want calm," I says to me Me says, "I can't be that strong." As I write these words my mind wanders off Their supposed to help me relax But my struggle to breathe takes over me And depression holds tight on my back So for now I'll stop writing, my pen needs a rest It doesn't seem to be helping at all I'd really like to sleep, but sure that I won't Another night spent pacing the hall