Gone Forever

I say things I don’t even mean Whenever someone gets too close to me It hits me out of nowhere every time And you weren’t flawless, no, you had your storms But still, you held me through the worst of yours I don’t know how you stayed when I kept crossing lines I was drowning in my own head Didn’t hear a word you said When you told me you were breaking under pressure I never thought I’d lose you Guess I thought you’d always stay forever No, I never thought this through at all Let you catch me every time I’d fall Right after I’d drag you back into my chaos And you can’t hate me more than I hate myself I keep acting out from wounds I never dealt You held on tighter even as I made you breathless I’ve always been the worst at goodbyes Look you in the eyes and tell a lie Like I’d be fine without you walking out When I start to care too much, I shut it down Pretend I don’t feel a thing, and drown And you still stayed through every time I shut you out I was drowning in my own head Didn’t hear a word you said When you told me you were cracking under pressure Didn’t think I’d ever see You packing up your love from me Didn’t know that this time you were gone forever So here I go, hurting you again Building walls so I forget That I’m the one who loses in the end ’Cause maybe you’ll be happier with someone else Someone who doesn’t sabotage themselves Here I go, shutting down again Trying not to remember when You said you’d had enough and couldn’t help And you can’t hate me more than I hate myself When I will understand? That you are gone forever