The Ballad of Laurie's Drama

The Ballad of Laurie's Drama Verse 1 It’s gone past nine, the room is full, We’re waiting on the queen. Then Laurie drifts in slow as fog, Like nothing’s ever been. She checks her pulse, declares out loud, “It’s happening again!” A tiny tickle in her neck And suddenly she’s Anne Boleyn. Chorus Oh Laurie time, a state of mind, She’s early once in never. A sniffle means the end is nigh, But she still looks fab as ever. Two days pregnant, bless her heart, But she swears she’s fit to pop — “Quadruplets due at half past two, Someone get me to the shop!” We took her skiing up the slopes, A wholesome little try — But every wobble, every bump Just made her stop and cry. She swore she’d “seen the pearly gates” Now Matt's angling for Dubai Verse 2 She’ll Google symptoms on the way And diagnose her doom. She’ll whisper, “Say your last goodbyes, I might not make it to noon.” She goes in for a sore throat, sure She’ll need a triple bypass op — But all she needs is Strepsils, love, And maybe a little stop. Final Chorus Oh Laurie time, forever late, Forever slightly dying. But raise a glass, she’s one of us, And worth the constant sighing. Two days pregnant, bless her soul, But she’ll soldier ’til she drops — Our hypochondriac heroine, The queen of all the shops.