Deck Apes

“The Ballad of the Glorious Deck Apes” (To be sung loudly, slightly off-key, with mugs raised high) ________________________________________ Verse 1 Oh the pilots strut with their helmets tucked, And their visors shining bright, They swagger past with a “Clear the path!” As they march off to the fight. They’ll spin you tales of daring trails And dogfights in the sky— But their fancy crates would sit like weights If we didn’t make ’em fly! Chorus So here’s to the grease and the hydraulic spray, To the fuel in the tanks at the break of day, To the missiles snug and the cannons tight— We build the thunder they brag about at night! They may take bows for the pirates they slew, But those birds don’t lift without the Deck Crew! Oh ho! We’re the kings of the hangar bay— The real heroes win the fight before takeoff day! ________________________________________ Verse 2 The Deck Boss stands in his checkerboard green, With a stare that could melt steel beams, He growls, “That Raptor ain’t spaceworthy yet— Fix that leak or fix your dreams!” He signs the slate, gives the final nod, Says, “Launch when the lights all glow.” And the pirates curse when our birds disperse— ’Cause we’re the ones who make ’em go! Chorus So here’s to the torque and the loading racks, To the busted knuckles and aching backs, To the clamps released and the engines primed— We beat those pirates every time! They may fly high in the combat stew, But they’re walking home without the Deck Crew! Oh ho! Let the ready lights blaze— We win the war in the prep phase! ________________________________________ Verse – The Ykanti And then there’s the Ykanti — “EEE-kant-EEE!” they cry, Feathers full of solvent spray, wings all held up high. They perch up on the engine cowls And squawk at every seam, “Tolerance is THREE microns off!” (it looked just fine to me!) Jin Cho clicks his talons sharp, His optics all aglow— “Redo that line! Re-torque that spine! Precision must be so!” He’ll peck the hull and shake his head, And make us do it twice— But every bird he signs off on Flies mean… and flies precise. Mini Bridge (Call & Response) Who keeps the Raptors razor true? — EEKANTI DO! Who drives us mad but saves us too? — JIN CHO DO! Who fuels the birds? — DECK CREW! Who loads the guns? — DECK CREW! Who signs the slate so they can strut? — THE BOSS IN GREEN, YOU LUCKY MUTTS! Who never sees a pirate’s face? — DECK CREW! Who wins the fight from parking space? — DECK CREW! ________________________________________ Verse 3 We sling those rounds till our shoulders pop, We haul those missiles long and mean, We bathe in fumes from the fueling boom Till our eyebrows glow neon green. While pilots sip their synth-coffee mix And rehearse heroic lines, We’re knee-deep stuck in a reactor duct Yelling, “Who crossed these lines?!” ________________________________________Verse 4 They’ll land with scorch on polished wings, And stories ten feet tall, Of pirates chased through asteroid fields And glory for us all. We’ll clap ’em hard and hand ’em drinks And listen with a grin— Then patch the holes and restock the rolls So they can brag again! ________________________________________ Final Chorus (Louder, Sloppier) So here’s to the sweat in the hangar light, To the bolts turned right in the middle of night, To the deck plates humming under our boots— We’re the roots of every victory shoot! Let pilots boast of their daring view— But the pirates lose to the Deck Crew! Raise your hands and make it clear: The battle starts right here! For the Boss in green! For the birds we send! For the pirates we’ll never meet— But always help defeat!