My Dilemma

[Intro – hazy, nostalgic] Nineteen Eighty-One, sun dips low Sac State halls where memories grow [Break] [Verse 1 – tender, regretful] I was 25, she was 21 Communications class where I met, "the", one Auburn hair caught the golden glow Mischievous smile, luring me slow [Break] [Verse 2 – soft, longing] American River bank, swiftly after school Months of whispers where the water pooled She was the fire I’d never had But a ring on my hand and a soon to be dad [Break] Chorus 1 – aching, bittersweet] Said goodbye, cried for days at home Chose the "right" path, but felt so alone If I'd stayed with her, what would she think of me Abandoning a child, shirking my responsibility [Break] [Verse 3 – weary, reflective] We said no kids when we said “I do” But my wife's mind shifted, my choices were few We couldn't move on from the affair I'd left 12 years later, divorce and regret [Break] [Verse 4 – hollow, yearning] Three kids to love, but a hole in my heart Drank to drown the words I couldn't impart Heard Cheryl married, had kids of her own Wondered if she cursed me when she was alone [Break] [Chorus 2 – heavy, remorseful] Left Cheryl for a life that fell apart Carried her memory with a broken heart Meandered through women for seventeen years None ever measured up, she had no peer [Break] [Bridge – hopeful, tentative] 20, 10, found the girl from my teens She pulled me up from the low I'd seen We said “I do” and I put the bottle down Found an angel, but a ghost's still around [Break] [Chorus 3 – gentle, accepting] Love my wife, she’s my steady ground But I still love Cheryl, pray she's safe and sound Hope she doesn’t think of me as the one who ran I was trapped in a dilemma, I never planned [Break] [Chorus 4 - gentle, accepting] Never contacted her, it's been 45 years If I picked up the phone, would I just end up in tears Will she immediately hang up, when she hears my voice Or will I meet my Maker, before I ever ... make the choice [Break] [Outro – soft, fading] Sacramento sun still sets the same way As I whisper ,"Cheryl, I'm sorry", every single day